What’s good, folk. Gotta love lazy Sundays, right? I’m especially relaxed this weekend after having witnessed the college graduation of my youngest sister, MYP. It had been a long road to graduation for her and my entire family came together to help her through it, so we were all incredibly proud to see her walk across that stage and be recognized for this accomplishment. Even better, she majored in Business Administration, so she just might follow my footsteps into the business world, which is pretty daggone cool. I don’t think she follows this blog, but, if she somehow sees this entry, I want her to know how ridiculously proud I am of her. This is such a huge life accomplishment and it doesn’t matter how a person gets to the end of the road as long as they get there in time. MYP, you have indeed arrived and I hope you know that your big brother is looking forward to seeing what you’ll do in the future 
Instead of responding to a reader email, I’ve decided to use this entry to bring you yet another chapter in “Introspection of Marquis” story that has been forming over the past few weeks. Last weekend, I had a catch-up conversation with one of my GSB roommates, RJB, who is now and entrepreneur out on the West Coast. One things I’ve always respected about him is that he’s a deeply introspective person who thinks a lot about people and how they live their lives. During this conversation, we discussed our life changes over the past few months, including my relocation to Chicago and new job, and he asked a really interesting question…”So what’s the big picture now?” Normally, I’d be able to answer a question about the future quick and concisely because I’d have a well thought-out plan, complete with an end state and milestones along the way. But, with all of my recent reflection, I’ve begun to re-evaluate my personal and professional priorities and my previous plan doesn’t really fit anymore. So, I responded with a long, drawn-out, rambling set of ideas that didn’t make much sense, but could have probably been summarized as “I don’t know”. That seemed to surprise RJB and he came back with “What about being a CEO? Don’t you still want to do that?”…and, just as I was saying “I don’t know anymore”, he had to jump off the phone to start an appointment. Random story, right? Well, I couldn’t shake RJB’s question about the “big picture” and, more importantly, how unsure I was of what mine is nowadays, so I thought it could offer a chance for me to think through it and figure some things out.
For the past few years, my big picture was pretty simple…I just wanted to end up as a “big baller” loaded up with accomplishments and accolades. The road to that big picture was pretty simple too…earn a Stanford MBA, work at a series of high profile gigs at big companies, maybe start a company or two, and then eventually end up as a CEO somewhere. All the while, I’d make a boatload of cash, buy a bunch of really nice things, take care of my family, and start a couple of non-profits along the way. I admit that these were lofty goals, but, for a country boy who grew up broke and always had big dreams, it made sense to aim as high as possible and work like crazy to make it happen. Then reality set in and, suddenly, that plan didn’t make as much sense anymore. Many personal sacrifices, including time with loved ones, are required to do it up as big as I planned and, after seeing the effects of those sacrifices first-hand in the past few years, I can’t see myself being willing to continue making those sacrifices for the next 20-25 years. Spending time with my niece (3.5 years old) and nephew (1.5 years old) earlier this weekend showed me how precious every minute, hour, and day can truly be. And, if I’m ever blessed to have a family of my own, I’d imagine that my kids would rather have me around as they’re growing up than to be able to say that I’m some big-time CEO or big baller mainly due to the time that I spent away from them. These types of realizations have a way of making a person rethink his/her life priorities and, in turn, revise his/her vision of life’s big picture.
One of my favorite hip-hop songs of the mid-90′s has the following line that has stuck with me for over a decade since I first heard it:
“See, life is kinda stressful, especially when you’re trying to be successful/
So many twists and turns it’s like you’re walking on a pretzel”
-Da Bush Babees, “Gravity” (1996)
Back in 1996, I thought this was just a clever line, but, 13 years later, I understand that it lays out a simple, under-emphasized truth faced by many, if not most, young professionals in the game today. Often, young professionals set such high expectations for their own success that they have to run at 1,000 mph every day of the week, inevitably resulting in immense stress that rains down upon them. Trust me…I’ve lived it and dealing with that level of stress is not easy at all! And, I’m not the only one who has gone through it either. I’ve made a couple of friends here in Chicago who were laid off after a couple of years as bankers and, although they’ve lived here for almost three years, they worked so hard for so many hours that they’re basically newbies to the city just like me. I’ve never seen two people so happy to, in their words, “have [their] lives back”. Imagine that…you work so hard to “make it”, but you can’t even enjoy it because of all the stress and changes that come with it. Oddly, it feels natural when you’re in the middle of it because that’s what you and everyone else expects (at least, that’s what you might think). Eventually, something major happens to make you understand how the weight of it all is affecting you, but, by then, who knows if the effects of that stress can be undone. Now that I’m in an environment where I have work-life balance, I can’t imagine what it would be like to give that up and go back to my former life. I’m not bringing this up to complain about working hard or to judge anyone who relishes that lifestyle because there are merits to having this type of experience. Rather, I want to encourage people to think about both the short-term and long-term implications of the paths they choose. The game of success isn’t always as easy or manageable as some might describe and, depending on your natural demeanor, it can be pretty daggone difficult to sustain it over time.
So, back to my man RJB’s question, “So what’s the big picture now?”. Honestly, I really don’t even know how to answer that question in a concrete fashion. I know that my big picture involves some kind of career success, but I’m not sure what I’d refer to as “career success” now. It used to be “CEO or bust” for me, but the real life tradeoffs that might be required don’t seem too appealing anymore. Or, maybe my route will eventually lead to the non-profit realm instead of Corporate America, where career success has a totally different definition. I know that there will be some kind of financial success, but it’s not like I need to be big ballin’ to be a financial success, right? Hell, as long as I can pay my bills, put a little money aside, and not worry about making it day to day, that’s more than enough to make me feel comfortable. I know the big picture will somehow involve helping people, but I’m not sure if it’ll be on some big-time “launch a few non-profit organizations” type stuff or on a smaller scale like mentoring kids in the community or writing on my blog. Overall, the only thing I know for sure is that I simply want my big picture to involve living a carefree and happy life because anything less will just lead to long-term mental stress and lack of fulfillment. Now, I just need to figure out what “living a carefree and happy life” actually means because, after all these years, I’ve never really experienced that before…it’ll come to me eventually though.
If you’ve read this entire entry, I would encourage you to ask yourself the same question and figure out your own big picture. I have a feeling that you’ll come up with something basic at first, but I’d recommend that you think even harder about it at that point. After this exercise, you could end up with a renewed clarity about your future that you didn’t even know you were missing. And, once you have that clarity about your end goal, it should be much easier to figure out the best path between today and that goal…that is, assuming that any of you are as unclear about that as I seem to be nowadays.
***** EDITED *****
After reading this entry, one of my friends, JCR, told me that my words really vibed with him and suggested a couple of songs for me to listen to. He said that these songs often give him clarity when he’s struggling with whether he’s following the right path in life.
The first of those songs, “In due time” by Outkast featuring Cee-Lo Green, is one of my favorites by that group, but I’d never really listened to the power of the words before. Cee-Lo’s verse in the song and the chorus especially hit home for me due to many of the things I’ve been thinking through lately. I’ve copied the lyrics that really hit me below for you guys to check out. If you’re interested, you can find the actual song at this link.
Song: “In due time”
Artist: Outkast featuring Cee-Lo Green
Excerpt — Cee-Lo Green’s verse:
Struggling is just a part of my day
Many obstacles been placed in my way
I know the only reason that I make it through
Is because I never stop believing in You
Some people wonder why we’re here in the first place
They can’t believe because they ain’t never seen your face
But even when you pray, the next day you gotta try
Can it wait for nobody to come down out the sky
You’ve got to realize that the world’s a test
You can only do your best and let Him do the rest
You’ve got your life, you’ve got your health
So quit procrastinating and push it yourself
You’ve got to realize that the world’s a test
You can only do your best and let Him do the rest
You’ve got your life, you’ve got your health
So quit procrastinating
Excerpt — Chorus (also sung by Cee-Lo Green):
You just keep your faith in me
Don’t act impatiently
You’ll get where you need to be
In due time
Even when things go slow
Hold on and don’t let go
I’ll give you what I owe
In due time
Instead of responding to a reader email, I’ve decided to use this entry to bring you yet another chapter in “Introspection of Marquis” story that has been forming over the past few weeks. Last weekend, I had a catch-up conversation with one of my GSB roommates, RJB, who is now and entrepreneur out on the West Coast. One things I’ve always respected about him is that he’s a deeply introspective person who thinks a lot about people and how they live their lives. During this conversation, we discussed our life changes over the past few months, including my relocation to Chicago and new job, and he asked a really interesting question…”So what’s the big picture now?” Normally, I’d be able to answer a question about the future quick and concisely because I’d have a well thought-out plan, complete with an end state and milestones along the way. But, with all of my recent reflection, I’ve begun to re-evaluate my personal and professional priorities and my previous plan doesn’t really fit anymore. So, I responded with a long, drawn-out, rambling set of ideas that didn’t make much sense, but could have probably been summarized as “I don’t know”. That seemed to surprise RJB and he came back with “What about being a CEO? Don’t you still want to do that?”…and, just as I was saying “I don’t know anymore”, he had to jump off the phone to start an appointment. Random story, right? Well, I couldn’t shake RJB’s question about the “big picture” and, more importantly, how unsure I was of what mine is nowadays, so I thought it could offer a chance for me to think through it and figure some things out.
For the past few years, my big picture was pretty simple…I just wanted to end up as a “big baller” loaded up with accomplishments and accolades. The road to that big picture was pretty simple too…earn a Stanford MBA, work at a series of high profile gigs at big companies, maybe start a company or two, and then eventually end up as a CEO somewhere. All the while, I’d make a boatload of cash, buy a bunch of really nice things, take care of my family, and start a couple of non-profits along the way. I admit that these were lofty goals, but, for a country boy who grew up broke and always had big dreams, it made sense to aim as high as possible and work like crazy to make it happen. Then reality set in and, suddenly, that plan didn’t make as much sense anymore. Many personal sacrifices, including time with loved ones, are required to do it up as big as I planned and, after seeing the effects of those sacrifices first-hand in the past few years, I can’t see myself being willing to continue making those sacrifices for the next 20-25 years. Spending time with my niece (3.5 years old) and nephew (1.5 years old) earlier this weekend showed me how precious every minute, hour, and day can truly be. And, if I’m ever blessed to have a family of my own, I’d imagine that my kids would rather have me around as they’re growing up than to be able to say that I’m some big-time CEO or big baller mainly due to the time that I spent away from them. These types of realizations have a way of making a person rethink his/her life priorities and, in turn, revise his/her vision of life’s big picture.
One of my favorite hip-hop songs of the mid-90′s has the following line that has stuck with me for over a decade since I first heard it:
“See, life is kinda stressful, especially when you’re trying to be successful/
So many twists and turns it’s like you’re walking on a pretzel”
-Da Bush Babees, “Gravity” (1996)
Back in 1996, I thought this was just a clever line, but, 13 years later, I understand that it lays out a simple, under-emphasized truth faced by many, if not most, young professionals in the game today. Often, young professionals set such high expectations for their own success that they have to run at 1,000 mph every day of the week, inevitably resulting in immense stress that rains down upon them. Trust me…I’ve lived it and dealing with that level of stress is not easy at all! And, I’m not the only one who has gone through it either. I’ve made a couple of friends here in Chicago who were laid off after a couple of years as bankers and, although they’ve lived here for almost three years, they worked so hard for so many hours that they’re basically newbies to the city just like me. I’ve never seen two people so happy to, in their words, “have [their] lives back”. Imagine that…you work so hard to “make it”, but you can’t even enjoy it because of all the stress and changes that come with it. Oddly, it feels natural when you’re in the middle of it because that’s what you and everyone else expects (at least, that’s what you might think). Eventually, something major happens to make you understand how the weight of it all is affecting you, but, by then, who knows if the effects of that stress can be undone. Now that I’m in an environment where I have work-life balance, I can’t imagine what it would be like to give that up and go back to my former life. I’m not bringing this up to complain about working hard or to judge anyone who relishes that lifestyle because there are merits to having this type of experience. Rather, I want to encourage people to think about both the short-term and long-term implications of the paths they choose. The game of success isn’t always as easy or manageable as some might describe and, depending on your natural demeanor, it can be pretty daggone difficult to sustain it over time.
So, back to my man RJB’s question, “So what’s the big picture now?”. Honestly, I really don’t even know how to answer that question in a concrete fashion. I know that my big picture involves some kind of career success, but I’m not sure what I’d refer to as “career success” now. It used to be “CEO or bust” for me, but the real life tradeoffs that might be required don’t seem too appealing anymore. Or, maybe my route will eventually lead to the non-profit realm instead of Corporate America, where career success has a totally different definition. I know that there will be some kind of financial success, but it’s not like I need to be big ballin’ to be a financial success, right? Hell, as long as I can pay my bills, put a little money aside, and not worry about making it day to day, that’s more than enough to make me feel comfortable. I know the big picture will somehow involve helping people, but I’m not sure if it’ll be on some big-time “launch a few non-profit organizations” type stuff or on a smaller scale like mentoring kids in the community or writing on my blog. Overall, the only thing I know for sure is that I simply want my big picture to involve living a carefree and happy life because anything less will just lead to long-term mental stress and lack of fulfillment. Now, I just need to figure out what “living a carefree and happy life” actually means because, after all these years, I’ve never really experienced that before…it’ll come to me eventually though.
If you’ve read this entire entry, I would encourage you to ask yourself the same question and figure out your own big picture. I have a feeling that you’ll come up with something basic at first, but I’d recommend that you think even harder about it at that point. After this exercise, you could end up with a renewed clarity about your future that you didn’t even know you were missing. And, once you have that clarity about your end goal, it should be much easier to figure out the best path between today and that goal…that is, assuming that any of you are as unclear about that as I seem to be nowadays.
***** EDITED *****
After reading this entry, one of my friends, JCR, told me that my words really vibed with him and suggested a couple of songs for me to listen to. He said that these songs often give him clarity when he’s struggling with whether he’s following the right path in life.
The first of those songs, “In due time” by Outkast featuring Cee-Lo Green, is one of my favorites by that group, but I’d never really listened to the power of the words before. Cee-Lo’s verse in the song and the chorus especially hit home for me due to many of the things I’ve been thinking through lately. I’ve copied the lyrics that really hit me below for you guys to check out. If you’re interested, you can find the actual song at this link.
Song: “In due time”
Artist: Outkast featuring Cee-Lo Green
Excerpt — Cee-Lo Green’s verse:
Struggling is just a part of my day
Many obstacles been placed in my way
I know the only reason that I make it through
Is because I never stop believing in You
Some people wonder why we’re here in the first place
They can’t believe because they ain’t never seen your face
But even when you pray, the next day you gotta try
Can it wait for nobody to come down out the sky
You’ve got to realize that the world’s a test
You can only do your best and let Him do the rest
You’ve got your life, you’ve got your health
So quit procrastinating and push it yourself
You’ve got to realize that the world’s a test
You can only do your best and let Him do the rest
You’ve got your life, you’ve got your health
So quit procrastinating
Excerpt — Chorus (also sung by Cee-Lo Green):
You just keep your faith in me
Don’t act impatiently
You’ll get where you need to be
In due time
Even when things go slow
Hold on and don’t let go
I’ll give you what I owe
In due time
Great Entry Marquis. Highly thought provoking. I remembered one of my most favorite quotes while reading this entry. “Never get too busy making a living that you forget to make a life”
For all the seeds that you've sown …. they shall sprout up! in due season. I love the "season" that GOD has you in. Thanks for sharing it with others, not many would do so. WALK INTO YOUR SEASON …..
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.individual&VideoID=29346008
"MOM"
Excellent buddy
I hope you are soon able to define a perfectly balanced big picture for yourself.